Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Letters to "Riverdale": Season 1

So, friends, my recent Netflix binge was a teen drama (I LOVE TEEN DRAMAS) called "Riverdale". It's based on the Archie comics from years ago - and I'd say "loosely based" - and I thought I'd write my thoughts out in letter form (just to mix things up!) And as always, *spoilers ahead*.

Dear "Riverdale", 
I was pleasantly surprised. Thank you.

Dear Archie,
I had a hard time with your character at times. You indecisiveness drove me bananas. You're allowed to like both sports and music - let Troy Bolton be your spirit animal in season 2 please. #wereallinthistogether

Dear Betty,
Besides the minor slip up with the jerky football player (what was his name anyway?), I thought your character grew the most during the season. You grew a bit of a backbone and went after what you wanted. But, I also think you have hardcore anxiety and should see a counselor..but that's just me.

P.S. I'm a HUGE fan of you and Jughead. HUGE.

Dear Veronica,
I'm thoroughly glad we moved on from you trying to be the ultimate vixen/mean girl/kissing girls for fun situation that was at the start of the season. You tried (and failed at times) to become a better person, and I liked that. 

Dear Jughead,
I LOVE YOU. That's all. I totally look forward to season 2. I can't wait for you to start your life into the Serpents..or your struggle with it. Whatevs, I look forward to it anyway.

P.S. What kind of name is Jughead?

(also, SAME)

Dear parents of Riverdale children,
You're way more bananas than you have the right to be. That's the crappy part of growing up somewhere and then staying - you're the same person your entire life. You never, EVER get to grow up and move on, because there's always going to be someone who remembers high school. That really sucks for you. But you crazy. Every. Single. One. Of. You.

P.S. I did not expect you Mr. Blossom, at all. You're a good actor, pal.

Dear Miss Grunky,
Or whatever the hell your name is. The "hot for teacher"/"you being a pedophile for a 16 year old" is done, done and overdone. Glad you left. Girl bye.

Dear Cheryl,
Besides being a clone of Lydia from "Teen Wolf" (another teen drama worth watching y'all), I kind of loved watching you be a train wreck. I hope season 2 brings more craziness and you rocking the red lip. Thanks girl.

Dear Josie (and the Pussycats),
Girl you entitled and mean. I don't know what to do with it. 

P.S. Valerie should sing lead.

Dear Kevin,
You get a gold star for being the token gay with the witty comments! Gold stars all around!

and Dear writers/producers of the show:
Some thoughts:
1. The characters need a little more oomph next season. 
A little more substance, a little less crazy.
2. Molly Ringwald as Archie's mom totally threw me off. 
I wouldn't mind if she wasn't in the show again.
3. I approve of any and all sartorial choices. Knocked it out of the park!
4. Please keep Betty and Jughead together. I ship it. I need it.
5. I'm totally digging the 1950's meets Stranger Things meets the Breakfast Club vibe.


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