Friday evening I left my house to go spend time with my pops this weekend for Father's Day. I left with a small puppy, Luna. When I came back today, she was not with me.
No, Luna is still alive. She's happy, healthy and living with my parents until a new home is found. See guys, I have decided that Luna should no longer live with me.
It's not her fault. She's not a bad dog. She's actually really fabulous. She's a bit rowdy, but what puppy isn't? She's loving, happy and healthy.
It's unfortunate, and it was a hard decision. I decided she shouldn't live with me for a myriad of reasons, but there's a few that I actually want to discuss publicly.
1. Luna deserves space.
Luna is three months old and rambunctious. She liked running up and down my stairs and around the floor again and again. She has a never ending stream of energy, it seemed like. My tiny apartment couldn't keep up. I let her hang out on my porch, which is no bigger than a twin sized bed - but there wasn't any grass. And it was on the second floor, making it hard for her to see anything. She deserves a yard and room to roam. She needs that to keep the energy in check. I could not.
2. Luna was spending 85% of her time in a crate.
Don't call PETA on me, but since I work two jobs, my schedule is weird. It's closing on night & opening 6 hours later sometimes - and sometimes I'm gone most of the day. No one should be cooped up in a crate for hours. It's just not right. Luna needs someone who can spend time with her and can let her stay out of the crate for a while, every day. I could not.
3. Luna costs money.
Yup, I am pulling the "poor" card. Even with working two jobs, when I was told the fee for having a dog in my apartment, my jaw dropped. And all of the toys and food and brushes she needs? It's a lot. She deserves someone who can make room in their budget for her. I cannot.
4. Luna needs people.
I tried to love and care for her the best that I could. I did. But, I semi realize now why single parenting is difficult (I know, I know..it's not the same!). There isn't anyone to help when you slacked a bit. There wasn't anyone to come over and let her out when I couldn't, or play with her when I couldn't. She deserves someone (or multiple someones) who have set hours and can give her undivided attention. I could not.
And that's okay.
All of the dog people out there are probably reading this and thinking it's all excuses. It's all about me, not about her. And you'd be correct.
But to be a good pet owner, you have to make the animal a priority, yes - but you also have to have the kind of schedule and life that opens you up for owning. It becomes a big part of your life, especially when you have them as a baby. Babies require so much work.
But I say all that to also say this - it's totally okay if you aren't a dog person. (again, the dog people are looking at this like "whaaaat?")
If you think something nipping at your heels isn't cute. If barking isn't something you get used to. If videos of dogs swimming in a pool doesn't make you laugh. It's all okay.
Our society is made up of dog people. Everyone and their mother has a dog it seems like, so we all start to think we need one too. We need someone to come home to at night and who loves us unconditionally.
But there are people who like coming home to an empty house. That sit on their couch for a brief (or many brief) moment/s after they've come home from work and sit in silence. That enjoy that time the most because no one's talking to them. No one's expecting anything of them.
And as for unconditional love? I have my humans for that.
All I'm saying is that it's nice. Both sides. Dog people and not dog people - and I'm glad that I had the opportunity to be a dog person, even if it was short. She taught me a lot of things in the brief time that we had together, but the two most important:
1. I am not a dog person.
2. Always be kinder than you feel.
The first is self explanatory. The second is a quote that's been stuck in my brain for a few months now. I have no idea where it's from, but it's had a massive impact on my thoughts and thought patterns lately. It's the notion that regardless of situations, people, places and things - you should be kind. You should see that crap in life as an opportunity to have grace/to give grace.
I felt a lot of frustration this week with Luna, I'm not going to lie. But I tried to see her as the small, baby thing that she was - that she didn't know any better/she didn't know how to express it any better - and love her anyway..because really, that's what I'm called to do in this life. Love anyway.
So there you have it. The one adult decision I have made lately, and I personally think it was the best one. She deserves a good human, that good human just isn't me.
And honestly, if you have the time, patience and love for a sweet baby - let me know. Luna is three months old, healthy and in need of a stable environment that will work with her. (she's not potty trained yet, but working hard at it!)
After all of this, I can't just let her be in limbo. I want what's best for her. And hopefully that's you.
- C
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