Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Life Plans. Or something like it.

I don't know how to begin this, so I'm just going to start. This week started out with me having two really great part time jobs, and yesterday left me with one. Yes, I'm a college graduate. Twice actually. Yes, I've tried jobs "in my field". But "my field" is hard.

I never wanted to study anything but art in college, and thankfully my parents never told me I needed to switch to something "practical". Adding business in my junior year was my choice. Coming to a different city, after the 4 year college, to study something else - that was my choice.

After graduating and working for an event photography company (that I did love, but found the hours unsatisfactory at the time), I found myself going through websites like and applying for "normal jobs". Something that would give me something to do during the day, and I could paint and add to my portfolio at night.

I started working for a senior living center, and was excited about it at first. The older generation of this world is hilarious.

This video has nothing to do with anything,
except to prove that old people are the best

But the management proved to be unkind. I was uncomfortable, upset and angry all of the time. I couldn't understand being cruel and uncaring. And I didn't follow through with adding to my portfolio. I was exhausted every night.

God puts us in situations to better us, I know that now. I worked there for around seven months, and hated all but a month or so of it. And I was let go at the end of this year. I know people are going to judge me for that statement, but there it is.

So, at the end of 2014 I was jobless.

Fast forward to yesterday, a friend of mine hooked me up with a temporary gig at her work (I loved it!) and the "temporary-ness" ended. I was bummed.

I went into my second job (well, now my only job..) thinking about that, and met my new supervisor. She is really great. Actually, everyone at my new job is kind and excited about being there (which totally helps, TRUST ME)

My manager and I started talking about "how we got here" to this particular job, and I was surprised that her path wasn't exactly what her degree was in either. She started talking about how she wanted to work in a particular field, but there wasn't many jobs (hello, me too!) and she chose something else. Which led to something else, which led to this one.

And it dawned on me that I wasn't the only one. I'm not the only person that has all these experiences that don't add up. That aren't what the world calls normal. And that's okay.

It's okay. 

I kind of want to scream that at the top of my lungs. To hug someone else who's going through a weird/rough/not normal time and tell them it's okay. 

Your job will never determine who you are. 

Your life isn't dependent on whether or not you chose all the right things. Marry the right person. Have the right amount of kids. Pick the right house.

Your life is your life. And I hope and pray that you look up to heaven and ask him to guide you on the right path. His path. Because that's all you can really do.

You can say "it's okay" and follow Him. And repeat it if necessary. 

I know I will.

- C

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