Today I sat in a little office inside the front door of you. A lady, whom I was introduced to earlier in the week by another friend, sat in the chair opposite me. She had me fill out a paper with different questions about my work outs, my eating habits, and what I would like to change about myself.
She asked me how my training session with said friend from earlier went the other day. I answered honestly - that it went fine. My friend is fantastic trainer - kind, helpful and not intimidating - but I'm not really into the trainer thing.
I guess that was strike one for me. She gave me a smug confused look - like why wouldn't I like training? Everyone likes training. I told her that I like doing my own thing. She asked if my own thing worked, and so far, so good - right?
She then hooked me up to a machine that told her my body weight percentage, my muscle percentage and my metabolic rate. She told me I have a small frame, but no, you're not obese - and if someone looked at you, they would not think that. The machine printed out a piece of paper and she started explaining it. But oops, my body fat is in the "obese" section. Hey, I know I'm not in the best shape of my life right now, but honesty is the best policy, right?
She then told me how to combat that and lose 10 pounds. She told me how cardio (aka running..aka one of my passions) wasn't going to help me. How I needed to start working with a trainer and during a 6 month period, I shouldn't run. I should strength train.
Now, I'm sure that works for some people - but I don't want to go down that road. Telling a runner they aren't allowed to run is just bananas. I think trainers/gym managers forget that one thing doesn't always work for everyone. I know I do sometimes, so I try to say "this is what I do.." instead of telling them my way or the high way. That's just me though.
I'm naturally stubborn, Gym. I'll admit that right away, so as we were sitting in that little office - and she was explaining how my way isn't how you lose weight/tone/gain muscle/be happy, I had maybe checked out a little. I'm not going to lie.
She reigned me back in by saying she was in the low percentages. She had gained the muscle and control of her life - she could eat that cheeseburger and party with her friends. Like she was the only one allowed to do that. *Insert more smugness here.*
I'll eat the damn cheeseburger if I want, Gym. And I'll run the mileage. That's my cross to bear, not hers. Not yours.
I remember canceling one membership at the beginning of this year. The woman on the end of the line spent 15 minutes telling me how I'd regret it, I'd have to pay more fees if I wanted back in, and how they had other plans - ignoring my simple request. I didn't have the money, and it wasn't something I wanted to compromise on.
Today I was reminded of that when she asked if I wanted to join the gym. Joining has been in my mind - I had the intention of joining when my finances were a little bit better. I don't think anyone can blame me for that. I was checking things out.
She then said, "you're really that broke right now?"
It's definitely not your business, lady. Life has handed me a few things right now, and being apart of your culture/your life is not high on my list. Allowing free trial memberships means you're letting someone try you out. And it is their right to say no or not right now.
I had three strikes after that. She gave me several "looks" and as I was leaving, I'm sure you could cut the tension with a knife.
On the way home I decided I wasn't going to join. I wasn't going to join you. I wasn't going to join the gym that's actually closer to my house. The intention was gone.
Vanity and badgering seem to go with gyms. If you're not in the right space (financially, mentally, emotionally) or you don't look a certain way when you walk in the door - they almost always have no desire to take the time to get to know you or give you a tad bit of sympathy. I'm sure there are instructors, members, trainers, front desk people who are - I'm not denying it. But with certain experiences that I've been apart of - if you're not one of them, they don't want you. They'll pretend to get you in the door and using their equipment. They will. But they don't have to like it. They don't stay awake at night and think about the people - they think about the almighty dollar. That's where their mind is. That's where it'll stay. The fitness industry isn't going away.
So Gym, that's where I'm at. It's not me..it's definitely you. Letting you stay in my life isn't anything I want right now.
The internet is full of trainers and plans and workouts. The library is over flowing with information and books on nutrition and fitness. At home work outs are a trend, and they aren't going away either. I can buy weights and I have a great set of stairs from the first floor to the second in my apartment. The grocery store will always have fresh fruits and vegetables - also something that isn't going away.
I can change my life without you. And that's my plan. My plan doesn't include you anymore, and I'm definitely okay with that. There might be a day when that changes again. When I find a place that's more welcoming, less judgmental. Maybe one day. But for now, I'm good. I'm okay. I'm definitely okay.